Imagine standing in front of a being who looks deep into your eyes and sees, feels, appreciates, and ignites the essence of your being. Imagine how that would make you feel…?
Hello & Namasté, beautiful soul!
What a journey. 10 days jam-packed with a simple, yet very challenging practice: feeling my feelings. I mean, let’s be honest: Who is doing that in our busy, workaholic, intellectually driven world?! I guess, not many. Generally speaking, most people’s awareness is dwelling in their heads – day in, day out. The thinking mind is in the driver’s seat, yet, most of us are completely disconnected from our feelings; from our hearts. Thoughts are playing the game, emotions show up unexpectedly, from a place of unawareness. Have you ever wondered why you suddenly feel a certain way without any “rational” reason?
“The longest distance we will ever travel is
from our heads into our hearts.”
If we’re unaware of our own thoughts, we’ll become a victim of the conditioned pattern that has been imprinted in every cell of our (mental) bodies from early childhood on.
If we’re disconnected from our emotional bodies, it will drive us crazy. Simply because our wounds will be triggered in any given situation.
So, what’s the result?
Emotional pain. Suffering. Unhappiness.
Before I dive right into the topic, I want to share a few lines about my own meditation journey: I started meditating on a daily basis two years ago, right after my first Yoga TTC in Rishikesh/India. I used to practice 5-15 minutes every morning and evening. My focus points were either my breath or a mantra which raised my ability to simply observe the mind and therefore my awareness of the inner world. Cultivating this beautiful mindfulness practice has guided me deeper into my heart. By sitting still with my inner body, I’ve intuitively connected with this beautiful shining light in my heart. However, it wasn’t until this Teacher Training that I was guided to meditate on my feelings and get in touch with my emotional body. I chose this exact course in Thailand because of its focus on unconditional love and inner healing.
It was an emotionally intense and powerful, yet very beautiful journey – for sure one of the deepest experiences in my entire life. I appreciate every single moment, every single encounter, my heartfelt teachers, every shining soul that I met, every hug and laughter as well as every single tear that was shed …
Let’s get right into this article in which I’ll cover the following topics:
- What is meditation and inner healing?
- What did our daily schedule and the food look like?
- What was my personal experience with the place, teachers, and the other students?
- What were my main learnings from this time?
~ Meditation & Inner healing ~
Meditation – it has become a buzz word and a popular mindfulness technique nowadays. Yet, many people aren’t familiar with the term “meditation”, what it actually means, and why it does have such a life-altering effect on human beings.
Meditation is the practice of observing (or witnessing) the mind from a non-judgmental place and without engaging in the thoughts or feelings. You rather come from a place of awareness. As meditation is a “practice”, there is no goal, such as to stop thinking. The nature of our human mind is to think – that’s even necessary for survival in this physical world. Basically, it is not about the thoughts you think, it is about your reaction (or rather, response) to them. With a constant meditation practise, you increase your level of awareness, you become more and more familiar with your inner world, your emotional and mental body. This awareness allows you to understand and heal emotional pain. By doing so, your heart’s guidance will become clearer, making it easier for you to tap into alignment with consciousness. Life will flow more effortless, and your union with metta (unconditional love) will happen more frequently. It is super necessary to be gentle with yourself – our minds are all busy and very easily distracted. However, the more you practice, the more benefits you will perceive.
“The more you look,
the more you can see.”
Every single human being who is incarnated into this beautiful world holds certain emotional wounds. Only by getting in touch with those pains, facing them, surrendering and cultivating love inside, you can step by step develop an ongoing inner healing practice. You’ll become your own healer – a healer of your emotional pain. However, especially in the beginning, it is extremely helpful to do the inner work with a guide on your side.
“The only way out is through.”
Inner healing is an ongoing process in which you give yourself permission to let go of the resistance towards (mostly un-/subconsciously rooted) emotional pains. By letting go of unhealed wounds you are able to shed belief patterns about yourself that hold you back from seeing the truth. Emotional tensions in the body keep you stuck in a self-sabotaging pattern and hold you back from aligning with your heart’s truth. They hold you back from experiencing unconditional love … the vibration we all seek for so desperately.
~ The place, schedule & food ~
After a 24 hour journey from Berlin to Bangkok and another full-day trip from Bangkok to the island of Koh Phangan, I immediately connected with the magical, peaceful, and heartfelt energies at this place. I felt safe, embedded in the love from nature, and warmly received by the people. I found myself in an abundance of tropical fruits (in case you don’t know – fruits are my favourite food on the planet) and free spirits. Seekers, who feel the urge to dive deeper into the roots of our existence, just as I do. Although I haven’t seen much of the island yet, the place where we stayed (Srithanu) holds magical energies that made it easily accessible for me to connect with my heart. I got naturally in touch with the unconditional love that surrounds us all the time; the love that is deeply embedded within your own Self. Koh Phangan is a place where I could embrace the present moment fully and let go of conditions that usually hold be back from being aware of the Here and Now.
Our course took place at “Om Sunny Yoga” – a yoga and meditation school up on a hill, surrounded by the balanced and tranquil vibration from Mother Nature.
Our course days started at 7.30 a.m. in the morning, usually with a guided meditation and a check-in with our own feelings. After a brunch break (10-12 p.m.), we continued from 12.00-5.30 p.m. with a 20-minute fruit break in between. The course was primarily centred around practising and teaching, alongside the theory. We got a coursebook which included some background knowledge (e.g. about the Buddhist Principles), breathwork and meditation theory as well as guidance. We discussed the content and 1,5 days were reserved for us students to give a 10-minute presentation each about a given topic. Furthermore, a graduation requirement was to guide at least four meditations, including inner healing guidance. A few hours were dedicated to some precious breathwork techniques which are an essential part of the inner healing process.
The brunch break was between 10 a.m. and 12 p.m. During this time, we went to an Ayurvedic place, close to the yoga shala and were served some very nourishing (Indian) Ayurvedic food: brown rice, curries (e.g. with sweet potatoes or pumpkin), stews with legumes (lentils, beans), steamed vegetables, fresh salad, and a delicious vegetable-based sauce/dressing. Yum-o!
Besides these very grounding warm foods, I lived off fruits, juices, smoothie(s) (bowls), and some nuts. My body craved those pure raw fruits and veggies so much, especially after a long period of cold climate back in Germany. Besides food, I felt deeply nourished by the sunlight and Mother Nature: walking barefoot on the ground, swimming in the ocean, hugging trees, breathing in the prana (life force energy) and metta (unconditional love) was a rather subtle, yet super powerful form of nourishment for my body and soul.
~ My life-altering teachers & soultribe ~
I thought a lot about how to describe my experience with the teachers and the other students. Well, when I’m feeling into the time that we spent together, it brings up one primary feeling in my body, alongside a bright smile on my face: the feeling of unconditional love. Honestly, I feel the urge to appreciate every single teacher:
- Nishan is -in my eyes- the embodiment of acceptance, softness, and peace. Simply his presence carries healing energies. I feel deeply honoured by studying with him and being led by his wisdom. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for the love and kindness you share with the world. Your presence and vocation are beyond words!
- At the same time, we had the honour to learn from Phranick, a Buddhist monk from Australia who taught and guided us with lots of knowledge and beautiful grounding energy along these days. I highly appreciate and respect his work. Thanks a lot!
- One of my personal highlights was the encounter with Kurt W. Schiewetz – a coach, consciousness leader, intuitive guide and simply a pure (old) soul. He guided us through the inner healing process during our 10-minute presentations in front of the group as he tuned into our energies. His teachings and simply his vibration did have a huge impact on my own awakening journey. Thanks, Kurt, for your beautiful guidance. Thanks, for your pure, bright, and radiant energy.
- Patty is a brightly shining light. A beautiful soul who is super passionate about teaching and guiding breathwork. The techniques we learned were definitely the most powerful pranayama that I’ve ever practiced -hands down- in my entire life. Especially the “breath of bliss” practice has shifted and awakened my core. Thanks a lot, Patty! Much love to you!
OK, my heartbeat increases right now; simply by feeling into the memories with all these beings who transformed my state of consciousness in some way. I’m close to tears. Tears of joy, tears of deep gratitude, tears of unconditional love.
Next, I’ll dedicate a few words to our beautiful group in which I felt being part of a big family. Everyone came with his/her unique story and personality that beautifully complemented the group dynamic and shaped each other soul’s growth. I just realized that we never talked about our age, profession, hobbies, or any other ‘ordinary’ topic. Every conversation and interaction came from a soul level, filled with appreciation, respect, acceptance, and support for the other being. I will never forget…
- Manons bright smile which always made my heart sing,
- sharing my deepest longing with Shreya,
- getting a tight hug and the support in the exact moment I needed it from Rémi,
- my german yoga and “Vata-sister” Lena,
- Debra’s tight hugs,
- being warmly welcomed by Bev right after I arrived,
- practising my first guided meditation with Laetitia,
- practising my first inner healing guidance with Petra,
- laughing with Gabrielé from the bottom of our hearts.
I’ve never experienced such a high level of love and acceptance from so many people at the same time. I love you all! Thanks for this unforgettable journey. May you all be blessed! And: May you be happy, just as you are!
~ My personal experiences: what I’ve learnt ~
First of all, I need to point out that the inner experience I went through was way beyond any word. This profound journey of my inner Self was for sure one of the most transformational steps along with my personal development and spiritual awakening process.
As I mentioned earlier, it was not until this Teacher Training Course that I started meditating on my emotional body and deepened the awareness towards my own feelings. It took me a few days to tune deeper into this subtle essence of me. Our powerful breathing exercises did help a lot. In the feeling meditation practice, you commit yourself to really feel and sit with your honest feelings. As I allowed my emotional body to open up, as I gave my feelings the necessary space, my non-visible deeply rooted fears and pains showed up. Having kind (!) awareness of those feelings is the first and foremost step in the inner healing process. However, it is definitely not a single-time job to heal deep emotional pains. It is rather an ongoing process which will show its benefits with a daily practice towards self-acceptance and unconditional self-love. A deep realization which I could really feel in my body was the fact that the more you accept yourself, the more you accept others. Although we’ve probably all heard and understood this on a mental level, now I was able to observe this mirroring effect in others as well as in myself.
“Understanding is the first step to acceptance,
and only with acceptance can there be recovery.”
(J. K. Rowling)
Besides my own healing experiences, I completely fell in love with guiding meditations – especially the “metta meditation” comes so natural to me. It doesn’t need any effort, no thoughts, no mental analysis, but purely my heart speaking. I felt like it’s the first time in my life that I do something which is not attached or linked to the rational mind, to the ego. Teaching about and guiding meditations, offering inner healing guidance, and especially focusing on unconditional love makes my soul sing.
The only thing I craved those days was my movement practice: working out (at the gym) and practising yoga on a daily basis. However, it was just another recognition that moving my body is an essential part of my self-care and self-love routine.
Right now, I’m in the process of absorbing and integrating everything I learned, combining it with my personalized movement practice, and further, sharing this beautiful wisdom with the world – with you! The support of my heartfelt soultribe made me realize more clearly who I am and what I want to do with my life.
“Give your inner light permission to shine.”
Many tears I shed were coming from a place of remembrance. Remembering what unconditional love feels like. Giving and receiving from a very pure state of the heart. Experiencing heart-to-heart connections beyond any conditions, expectations, or attachments. The more love and bliss you cultivate, the more you will radiate, and the more you will receive, because you’re a vibrational match to this beautiful frequency. I guess supporting people along their self-discovery journey towards unconditional self-love is about to become a big passion of mine.
“I can truly say that these 10 days have guided me towards my inner light.
What I’ve experienced on a daily basis was …
waking up in bliss, walking in bliss,
connecting with other beings in bliss,
eating in bliss, moving in bliss…
I realized a deep feeling of contentment throughout the day.
A feeling that I’ve experienced only once in my life before – back in Rishikesh.
This journey was the next level of awakening. It was a wake up call from my inner voice…”
Before I end this article, I want -again- appreciate every single being who has touched my heart in such a deep way that cannot be put in words: Nishan, Phranick, Kurt, Patty, Lena, Manon, Rémi, Bev, Petra, Gabrielé, Debra, Shreya, Laetitia – you will always have a place in my heart. A simple “Thank you” won’t do it, so I let the silence speak … Take a deep inhale through your nose, and fully exhale through the mouth.
“May we be happy, just as we are.” 🙂
Love and light to all of you!
2 thoughts on “Meditation & Inner Healing TTC | My experiences on Koh Phangan/Thailand”
Thank you so much for sharing this experience, beautiful soul. And thank you also for being part of my journey at the MTTC 🙂
Lots of love, Petra.
Lovely Petra <3
Thank YOU from the depths of my heart for sharing your kind and loving words! I’m deeply grateful that our paths have crossed.
Sending you all the love in the world.
Keep shining your light.
Namasté, beautiful soul,