Namasté, beautiful soul!
“In true love, you attain freedom.”
(Thich Nhat Hanh)
Unconditional love – It is one of the highest vibrations that exist. An internally referenced phenomenon. One that we’re all very familiar with, just because it is who we really are on the deepest level of our existence. You may have your unique understanding of love, based on certain experiences, and classify it as a positive and desirable feeling, right? So do I. However, it wasn’t until my spiritual journey began, until I traveled to Asia, when I firstly had glimpses of an experience deep inside of my core being, in every single cell of my body, of how unconditional love may really feel like …
“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves,
and not to twist them to fit our own image.
Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.”
This article will cover the following topics:
- What actually is unconditional love?
- Why is this topic so close to my heart – a bit about my own journey!
- How to kindle and cultivate love within yourself?
- Is it possible to love unconditionally in relationships?
~ Unconditional Love: What is it? ~
It is limitless. It is selfless. It is infinite. It is unequivocal. Everywhere and at all times. It simply IS, the oneness that we are.
What kind of love are you familiar with? At what level (of consciousness) have you loved, are you loving, and receive love…?
Let’s start with what we call conditional love, which is what we’ve cultivated within society: You only experience a feeling of love under certain conditions, such as “My partner makes me happy, if (s)he acts in a kind way, if (s)he kisses me, if (s)he gives me a hug, if (s)he washes the dishes, etc.” Or “My mother makes me unhappy, if she doesn’t come to my birthday party.” There is always a certain expectation linked to the sensation of love. It is linked to attachment. And if the outcome does not match our wishes, we’ll experience emotional pain. It always includes tension that can be sensed physically. The more expectations we have, the more likely it is that these expectations are not met. Thus, the more emotional pain as well as unhappiness in life we will experience.
“Expectations ruin relationships.”
Unconditional love, also known as Metta in Buddhism, is completely free from any kind of condition, expectation or attachment. It is affection without any limitation or boundary. Metta can also be translated as good wishes, good will, or love and kindness. It is the unconditional wish for any being to be happy, just and exactly as they are. There is no sensation of tension, on the contrary, it feels liberating and expanding, leads to happiness and freedom in your own life. Besides providing metta to other beings, it is crucial to primarily cultivate it for ourselves. Unconditional love and acceptance towards your own Self will not only match your internal state with this high frequency, at the same time you’ll attract more of this vibration on the outside.
Experiencing unconditional love will bring you inner joy and freedom as well as physiological benefits – as you know, body, mind, and spirit are inseparable, one affects the other. It harmonizes your nervous system and therefore reduces any stress (and as mentioned before any tension) in the body, will give you a peaceful sleep and restful state of being.
A very representative example for unconditional love is the love of Mother Earth. She constantly provides us with everything we need: air to breathe, water to drink, sunshine to thrive and grow our foods, and therefore nourishment. She doesn’t expect you to do something in order to get some sunshine or air – nobody is treated superior or inferior. We all deserve the unconditional giving of Mother Earth – simple because we exist!
~ My personal story ~
Unconditional Love or Metta: a topic that is extremely close to my heart. My own experiences with this high vibrational frequency have been taken place in Asia:
Back in Rishikesh (2018) during my first Yoga TTC, I guided my very first yoga class where I focused on backward extensions. These postures help you to open the chest, and simultaneously the heart chakra. Moreover, I intuitively guided a short meditation – focused on the heart and the vibration of unconditional love – at the end of this beautiful yoga class. Not only during this class, but during my stay in Rishikesh, I got in touch with a feeling of deep contentment for the first time in my life. However, I couldn’t remain in this high vibrational state as I came back to my ‘old life’ in Germany. My heart closed down again.
It wasn’t until my trip to Koh Phangan that I was able to deeply immerse myself in this infinite feeling of unconditional love. Back then, I firstly started to meditate on my feelings, practiced deeper inner healing, was embedded in the beauty of nature, supported by incredible mentors, and got in touch with a community of heartfelt people. All these aspects supported my heart to open up (again), and I couldn’t be more grateful for doing so. This experience went hand in hand with a lot of tears: on the one hand, because I could shed some solidified limiting beliefs that have built a wall around my heart. On the other hand, because I could NOT believe that it was even possible to experience this deeply blissful feeling. I gave my heart permission to take the driver’s seat and let the ego rest in the back seat.
After these beautiful experiences in Thailand, I spent one more week in the jungle paradise of Bali (Ubud), and experienced further qualities of consciousness, such as bliss and joy. Not only was my inner world still in the process of absorbing and integrating everything I’ve experienced at the MTTC. But I also felt deeply aligned with the environment around me. Bali as well as Koh Phangan are two places that felt like “coming back home” to me, from the very beginning. I feel a very strong and deep connection to those places, especially the natural environment that allowed me to connect with unconditional love and align with my heart.
~ How to connect with the feeling of unconditional love? ~
Good news: We are all very well able to tap into the frequency of unconditional love. It is our purest state of being, our innate nature. So, it’s important to remember that this feeling is not only accessible for certain people, enlightened beings, such as Jesus or Buddha. Unconditional love is inherited deep inside of every single cell of your body, it is in the air, in every molecule of existence, everywhere around you. We’ve “just” lost connection to it. Being fully identified with and having the entire awareness in the thinking mind disconnects us from our physical and emotional bodies, from our feelings, and doesn’t allow us to connect with the frequency of unconditional love that resides within our hearts. Three major requirements to experience this feeling are: self-love, acceptance, and forgiveness.
- Cultivating unconditional love within ourselves is the foundation of sharing it with the world outside of us. You can only love others to the degree you love yourself.
- What’s tightly linked to that is the level we accept ourselves, and further the acceptance towards others and life’s circumstances.
- Acceptance goes hand in hand with forgiveness.
First and foremost, we want to ignite or kindle the feeling. This requires a state of complete relaxation and openness. It is a receiving practice, we welcome and then immerse ourselves into this feeling, thus, softness and openness are key. The relaxation process can either be done with a (guided) meditation, breathwork exercise (where your exhale is longer than the inhale), through the sound of singing bells or by chanting Om. Whatever feels right for you in the present moment.
What we want to connect with is the heart, so the awareness will shift from the head down into the heart space. For most people, it is easy to connect with a being they find easy to love, they have a “simple” loving relationship with, such as their pets, a child, or even an imaginary being. It can even be a beautiful sunset that makes your jaw drop, or any other experience you feel deeply one with your surroundings. If you can imagine such a scenario and you find any pleasant feeling inside your body, bring your attention to it and fully REST in that feeling for as long as you like …
“May I be happy, just as I am.”
Cultivating and experiencing the frequency of unconditional love is a continuous process, not a final goal. The nature of the thinking mind is to distract us from the present moment, where consciousness – unconditional love, joy, bliss, and all its qualities – lies. The mind constantly comes up with thoughts and further emotions that are connected to the thoughts. As with any kind of meditation practice, the ability to tap into the frequency of unconditional love will get stronger with an ongoing practice…
~ Unconditional love and relationships ~
Relationships – it is said to be the cornerstone of life. We’ve been conditioned from early childhood on that some behaviours are considered as “good” or “lovable” whereas others are seen as “bad” and therefore “unlovable”. We grew up with the belief that we have to behave in a certain way in order to receive love. You see? – This is a kind of love that’s strongly tightened to conditions. If we’re unaware of this imprinted condition, we usually repeat this pattern in any form of relationship, again and again.
So, here’s the million dollar question: How does a relationship based on unconditional love look like?
“You can only love and accept your partner
to degree you love and accept yourself.”
As this beautiful quote indicates, the love and acceptance towards another human being starts within yourself. Everyone and everything around you is just a reflection of your inner world, your own vibration. Your partner is a perfect mirror, giving you the opportunity to learn more about yourself, to grow, heal, and evolve. Thus, a continuous inner practice is crucial in order to fully embrace your (divine) counterpart with all his/her traits, beautiful and dark aspects. Loving your partner unconditionally goes hand in hand with a deep level of acceptance. Acceptance towards the Self and your partner.
Unconditional loves can only come from a higher perspective on your own Self as well as others. If you’re stuck in identifying with the physical body and limited (ego) mind, it is probably impossible to drop the conditions that have been imprinted in your ego. Unconditional love comes from a greater perspective, from stepping outside the limitations, seeing the bigger picture, and at the same time being aware of all the aspects you’ve identified with from early childhood on. If you can see the root causes of the emotional wounds you and your partner have been carrying, it will bring you a deeper understanding – even compassion – towards your behaviours. If you are both continuously doing the inner work, your vibration will increase, the feeling of unconditional love towards the Self and each other will expand. As love grows, you’ll (together) grow in consciousness, impact everyone around, and experience a whole new level of LOVE and LIFE…
“The highest purpose of a relationship is
to elevate the collective consciousness
by amplifying the vibration of unconditional love.”
When two givers -who don’t come from a place of lack, neediness, or expectations- create a sacred space to cultivate and immerse in pure unconditional love, that vibration will plant a seed of truth in the hearts of many other beings.
This kind of relationship is a journey towards the Self, the eternal essence of your being. It is an opportunity for each of you to heal – by practicing acceptance – and grow spiritually as well as in every aspect of your life.
~ Conclusion: The power of unconditional love ~
Unconditional Love: It is one of the highest vibrations we can ever experience. A frequency we all desperately yearn for. It requires surpassing the egoic mind that beholds conditions, expectations, limitations, and attachment – qualities that we usually link our love to.
Red roses, romance, marriage, gifting our husband/wife, etc – that’s what many people link to love, right? In this case you’re primarily focused on the other person, someone outside of us. There’s often times an expectation of getting the love that fills a void inside of us. Unconditional love goes way beyond those things. It doesn’t know any form of lack, it starts within yourself. As soon as you’re highly accepting and loving yourself, you will effortlessly attract the same vibration in form of another being into your life. Two (or more) people sharing the frequency of unconditional love – towards the Self, the other, and the greater (the collective) – have infinite power.
“Unconditional love is loving someone
beyond their limits, and yours.”
The more you cultivate unconditional love within your Self -inside your heart and your entire body- the more natural it will come to you. If you’re creating momentum around unconditional love, then lower energies have a harder time to survive in your frequency. You may drop in frequency at times, but as an amplified reflection of source energy -of the divine-, it is easier for you to find your way back again. Unconditional love transmutes those lower energies on their approach to your field, and they are not available to stay as they were.
Right now, our planet is in desperate need for us as a collective to shift our awareness from the head (thinking mind) down into the heart; to cultivate, radiate, and approach one another on this level of unconditional love. I invite you to take a couple of minutes every single day – morning and/or evening when you’re in bed – to sit in a comfortable position, take a few deep breaths, put your hands over your heart, and simply bring your attention in this area of your body. Listen. Feel. And rest there.
Sending you so much love – from my heart to yours.
Can you already feel it?